Why should I go to therapy?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi and Tony Soprano having a chat - The Sopranos (1999)

After my Art vs AI rant on Instagram the other day a few people were concerned about my wellbeing, and rightfully so - a little out of character for me to go on rants. I generally don't think people will listen to what I have to say. But, after some really nice and heartfelt comments, I felt empowered to write about something else that has been on my mind lately: the stigma of going to therapy.

Therapy is an interesting topic. I think my parents' generation believe that only the "mentally ill" people go to see a psychologist, but I want to express that I truly think everyone could benefit from it and should be treating it the same as going to see their doctor (GP), dentist or car mechanic.

I believe the path to true happiness is only possible through overcoming pain, suffering and fear. To be the freest version of yourself you must work through these obstacles. You cannot go around or avoid them, you must face them - head on. "But, how? How do I face the insurmountable challenges before me?" you say.

Well, what are the opposites to what I mentioned above, the antitheses of pain, suffering and fear. It's love, happiness and courage. You will need to feel and practice these daily, to be free. Your friends, family and support network will help you get there but ultimately it is you and you alone who will have to come to realisations about yourself to get through.

I believe some of the actions you can take is to ask yourself the right questions - the exact same way a therapist would. Why do I feel this way about that? Why does this particular thing, person or event make me feel sad or happy? Angry or calm? Scared or strong? Hated or loved? Pushing away? Or pushing towards... the person you want to be?

Gom Jabbar and Paul Atreides - Test of fear - Dune (2021)

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Frank Herbert, Dune 1965

We all have some level of fear and suffering, and that's okay - we won't ever be able to fully be free of it. But therapy helps us cope and equips us with the ability to move forward rather than to have events or thought patterns hold us down. Some of our fears are justified as well. We need some level of them to survive, to keep our loved ones safe, and avoid accidents. But we cannot let them overpower us or prevent us from doing things we have always wanted to do, or prevent us from who we truly want to be.

If we could all start thinking about our feelings and emotions in any given moment a little more rather than immediately acting or repressing them, the world would be a much brighter place… and we can do that! But it starts and ends with you, and only you. If you think therapy isn't for you, why not just give it a try and see what all the fuss is about? It will only take an hour out of your day - and, who knows, you might just discover something about yourself. I would also argue that if you do not want to go, it could be because you don't want to face those uncomfortable feelings or thoughts… you know the ones!

The ones that say “I'm not good enough, what if they don't like me?” The ones that make my gut feel weird, the ones that make me wanna jump in front of the train, the ones that make me wanna scream, the ones that make me feel stupid and unloved. You are alive, in the here and now, and I'm sure there is at least one person, if not a therapist, that you could talk to about those feelings and emotions above. Try it sometime and I promise you, you will feel better. It's called 'venting' for a reason :)

My wife said to me once "If you don't cry at therapy, did you even go to therapy?" and she's absolutely right, because you will be uncovering a lot of ground.. . uncomfortable things will come out and that is all part of it!
Do not see it as a weakness, you will feel stronger and a hell of a lot happier that you did. No pain, no gain, as they say. Why do you think there is always a box of tissues, right in front of you, in the room? (Even in Tony Soprano's session above!)

I hope this article empowers at least one person to book in an appointment with their GP to get a Mental Health Care Plan and see a therapist, like I did. Both this post and the Art vs AI rant have made me realize that thanks to going to therapy and my awesome support network, I finally have found my voice and hope this will help you find yours if you haven't already.

Thanks again!
✌️❤️